he shaved USA in his pubs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
