Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize