Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
