peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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