As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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