I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My vagina just recognized that song.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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