the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
