I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
