dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
