I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
