I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
