Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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