There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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