she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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