hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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