Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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