ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
