I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize