So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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