Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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