yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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