im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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