We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
