I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
