Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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