hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
