He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
