He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
