the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
