Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
