Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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