just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
