I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
