If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what day is it and did you see me today?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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