My nipple is on Facebook.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
