they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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