I'm passing your future prison.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
