she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
