Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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