This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize