and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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