we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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