Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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