so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
