Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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