Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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