We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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