How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
