After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
