Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
