Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
