The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
