As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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