I want to walk on stilts...naked
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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