Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
