Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
