uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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