She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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